Letters to my Friends

I decided to create a space in my web page where I could write to my friends about different topics as a way to share with them my thoughts, experiences, learning opportunities, and even answer questions they may ask me about my view of Life.

I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoy writing it.

January, 2009

Dear Mom and Dad,
I came to California with the intention to learn new skills and techniques to assist people to live more fulfilling and graceful lives; and then go back to Mexico to share them with my family and friends.

I guess I am still in the learning process because I am still here!

From the beginning of my studies, I found fascinating sharing with you and my friends what I was learning. I felt that I could help the people I love to live a happier and more fulfilling life. I felt I had the tools to help my friends “fix” their lives, or at least to suggest what they could do to improve them.

Even though my intentions were good, I did realize that inside of me I kept judging as wrong every situation that in my view was not taking place they way I wanted it to happen.

I wanted to find a partner for my single friends.

I wanted to help my brother to find a fulfilling job.

I wanted to help my dear friend avoid a divorce.

I wanted to … I wanted to tell my family and friends what to do, what they should have or should not have, because in my mind, I knew better than them what was causing them to feel sad, frustrated, angry, or incomplete.

But then in my training, I learned about projections and I realized that all the people I wanted to “help” were just reflecting back to me something inside of me that I did not like. I learned to use the power of Self-forgiveness and also I intended to evaluate situations instead of judging them.

So, instead of focusing on everyone else, I did my best to live my life in a loving and balanced way, because I felt that by doing it, I was going to be able to align myself with the Universe and enjoy a happy, fulfilling, abundant, and peaceful life. I felt that I was learning and applying the tools and resources to keep the “problems” or what I now call opportunities far away of my life.

I began eating organic and raw food and doing yoga. I did my affirmations, ideal scenes, and visualizations with everything I wanted to manifest in my life without forgetting the adage “this or something better for my highest good and the highest good of all concerned”. I did my best also to keep my house free of clutter in order to allow new things to arrive to my life.

I learned how the mind works and how to release negative thinking and limiting beliefs to keep expanding in my life. I did everything I learned in my graduate school and coaching training to enhance my life; in order to be a model of happiness, mastery of life, and fulfillment for my daughters, my family, my friends, and future clients.

Despite all the work I was doing, I was still judging the experiences that were not making me happy as wrong. If they were present in my life, that meant they were reflecting back to me that something within myself was not in alignment with Universe.

I kept practicing with the power of Self-forgiveness every time I felt a judgment arising to my mind, to be able to feel happiness and love.

At first, I thought I was only judging when I did not agree with the situation and found it wrong, unfair, or in total disagreement with my beliefs. Later I learned that I was also judging and labeling even those situations that I found right, good, or in alignment with my own values.

I made a commitment to live in a place of neutrality because honestly, I did not want to live the experiences I was judging as wrong or unfair. But no matter how much I practiced Self-forgiveness and was surrounded by blessings, there was still sadness, fear, and anger in my life.

How little I knew that those situations that I was trying to avoid in my life were pure gems of loving energy, waiting to be transformed, to assist me to expand and enjoy more happiness, love, and abundance in my life.

Almost three years ago we received your diagnosis Dad, telling us your Soul had decided to experience what Alzheimer was.

In my mind I thought I knew what tools I could use to go through the experience in a friendly way. Once again, I was trying to take a short cut to feel happy, optimistic, and confident, and to avoid feeling the strong emotions this scenario was awakening inside of me: fear, pain, frustration, anger, sadness, powerless, betrayal, jealousy, and envy. I wanted to scream to God: -Excuse me Guy or Girl, why are you doing this to my Dad? He is a good person. I hate you! After all the inner work I have done and you give this experience to me? I hate you.

I also felt completely powerless because I live far away from you and I could not support you both. I felt really sorry for my Mom because she knew what Alzheimer was in her family and now, she had to live it again with her husband.

I used my tools to work with the emotions and release my judgments, but still I was in a place of fear and also of feeling we were victims.

I was really lucky to find a teacher who assisted me to see how this experience was a wrapped gift. He taught me to feel appreciation for every experience we live no matter what they may appear to be at first sight. He also taught me and guided me to feel my emotions free of labels. When I learned to do this, I received all the energy I was not able to receive in the past when I was rejecting experiencing the situations that I was judging as painful.

I was able to see and feel that indeed there only is one energy in the Universe, and that everything we experience is Love. Sometimes we can easily identify what surrounds us as Love, but many times, Love comes to our lives wearing the most original and unimaginable disguises.

I learned that life is a game for us to play. The more disguises we are able to identify and transform into pure love, the more joyful, fulfilling, loving, abundant, and happy our life is.

I am now in a place to see every single person around me both as a Diving Being having a perfect human experience and also as a perfect reflection of myself, that is assisting me to discover new disguises of love to enrich my life, keep expanding, and keep having fun.

One day, when you had an intense day Dad when you did not recognize my siblings and my Mom told me this feeling very sad, I felt miserable. I was afraid that you were not going to recognize me either, because I was far away from you, and you had not seen me in a long time.

I contacted my teacher to share about my experience and the words he said, assisted me to shift my experience, appreciate it, and honor it just the way it is. This person was a reflection of my Higher self, and his words of wisdom, were the message my Higher self wanted to share with me. Today I offer them to you with all the peace, freedom, and joy they brought me when I read them:

“See him as the Power and Presence of God, making believe he is not.”
“ As you keep practicing seeing (him) and your Self as who you really are, the disguises will appear weaker and weaker. You can extend this to seeing everyone that way”
- Arnold Patent

Dad and Mom today I know you, me, my husband, my daughters, my siblings, my friends, and all the people in this world are Divine Beings playing in a sandbox, pretending we are not.

I am in place where I can feel and see the disguises and feel excitement for the opportunity to remove them and receive all the loving energy every experience has for me. When I look into your eyes, even on a computer screen, I can see the Divine Beings you are, and all the Love you radiate.

It is from this place of appreciation, acceptance, openness, surrendering, knowing, love, and joy, that I wanted to write to you today to let you know how much I love you and how much I honor the experience we all are going through. This is just a fun ride we chose to take, and we are taking it knowing that everything is OK, everything is perfect, and God is providing us with all the resources to enjoy the journey.

Receive my blessing,
Your Loving Daughter,
Mónica